When you have a little free time, grab a beverage, paper, and pen. Choose an audio to listen to. If you prefer reading, that is available for you.
At the end of each post, I offer a range of questions for your consideration. Make a little time to answer them privately, in writing. Why? Because writing by hand personalizes the process, activates neuro circuits needed for learning, and allows you to assimilate information.
AUDIOPOST-BUILDING PROGRESS OVER COMPLACENCY 10:35 mins.
I want to share some thoughts with you around the benefits of “negative” thinking and choosing progress over complacency. A little focused exploration of what is not going well for us can be useful. We think that “someday” things will change. Every now and then we take a half-hearted stab at trying something new. We often need a little “negative reality check” to get us moving in a new direction.I’ve ended the article with a few questions for you. I hope that you will set some time aside to consider them.
You may recall that I briefly touched on confidence and decision making in the complimentary Self-Discovery Confidence Building Workbook. It may be helpful to review that part before reading this blog article. Today I am going to discuss one-second decisions and add a short but powerful assignment. Why? Because I think we can all find value in developing the habit of quick decision.
Let’s talk about how we exchange our precious resources of time and energy with others. If we are to be the confident CEO of our lives, we need to become cognizant of this and you may recall I touch on this in the complimentary workbook. How often do we take time to analyze our interactions and question whether the costs are worth the rewards? I am going to play around a little with two sayings in this article and it will helpful if you pay attention to your automatic reactions as you read or listen. I’ll finish up with a couple of questions for your consideration.
Who do you like to be around? What does this say about you? In this article we will have a brief look at true confidence versus bravado, I will share my “people preferences,” and touch on how the idea of “like attracts like” impacts us. As always, I will end the post with questions for your consideration. When we have a choice, we naturally gravitate towards certain people. And, when we have a choice, we naturally avoid or limit our exposure to certain people. There is some truth in the idea that “like attracts like.” This can prove to be healthy or not.
When it comes to confidence building, stress management and addiction recovery I speak often about the need to discipline our thinking and imagination. If we do not, we run the risk of stinking thinking and a “messy” mind that doesn’t serve us. Perceptual positions can help us make adjustments to our ways of being. Being able to move from one position to the other gives us...
We all want to feel the benefits that come from having a strong character. But what does it mean to be “strong?” What are some characteristics of strong people? Who exhibits strength? How do we build our strength? We will be exploring these questions in this article. As always, I will end this post with a few questions for your consideration I often hear clients say “I wish I was stronger.” They also say “I wish I was more like so-so who is so strong.” What they are really saying is this:
Getting the “goods” and being on probation for life. Is seeing ourselves on probation for life a good thing? I think so. There can be some benefits to this line of thought if we are willing to explore it. In this article I am going to discuss “being on probation” and whether we can make that work for us. As always, I will finish up with questions for your consideration.
Life can be extremely frustrating so we must stay curious and be open to learning. If we want to be the CEO of our lives, we need to be able to manage our frustration. What can we learn from the famous marshmallow experiment? We will explore the experiment and I’ll end this article with a couple of questions for your consideration. Fundamentally, the new argument is that life circumstances have more to do with success then does the natural ability to delay our gratification. If there isn’t going to be any marshmallows tomorrow it might make sense to get what you can immediately. If we have learned not to trust that a reward will be coming for our patience and persistence, we develop a “right now” mentality.
When we imagine someone languishing in a rocking chair most of us likely conjure up an image of a senior citizen. However, I have to say that the elders I visit as a pet therapy volunteer often show more “oomph” for life than a lot of us youngins do. What can we learn from these interesting women and men? I am going to explore some golden age wisdom in this brief article and leave you with two suggestions. Don’t automatically ignore this post just because you are in your 20’s. 30’s or 40’s. Time passes very quickly, and while I am now 53 it often feels like it was only yesterday that I was 25. Let me tell you, there is nothing like spending a little time with people in their 80’s and 90’s to help us gain a little perspective
Forget a penny for your thoughts, how about filling the mind bank with toonies? In today’s post, we are going to explore critical thinking by using our spare change. I am going to briefly define critical thinking and offer a fun game that will help you evaluate and make changes to your thinking. Why is this important? Because becoming the CEO of our lives means we are in charge of our thinking, feeling and behaving. You will remember from past posts, that our thoughts lead to feelings which then guide our actions.
“If you want to see your colleague alive…….” said by a bad guy in a menacing voice. The nonchalant reply by a team member “she’s an operative, she knows the risk.” Blacklist (Netflix) season 4 episode 9 The operative was on a clandestine mission, out doing her thing. She was putting herself at risk for what she obviously felt was an important cause. Did she really know the risk? I am not sure, but she did make it back in one piece. Despite the danger, she returned to her team at command central, with new information and resolve. All in all, it turned out well.
As I mention in the second workbook willpower is like a muscle that must be conditioned. Some of us are born with greater reserves of willpower then others are, and certainly as we navigate through our days, we use up this resource. If you are struggling with depression, anxiety, anger or addiction issues then your reserves will be low, especially if you are fighting triggers all day.
The mind is a funny thing and often it behaves strangely. Most of our minds could use a little more discipline. We each have countless associations, anchors and triggers and if left to its own devices the mind can behave like a frenetic stubborn toddler. If we allow it, the mind will travel down paths that create and heighten the experience of anxiety, depression, and anger. But, if we discipline it, the mind can create experiences that uplift and energize us.
AUDIOPOST-ARE YOU STILL LIKE THE 16 YEAR OLD YOU? 9:32 mins.
There is a pretty good chance that who we were at 16 will be amplified by the passing of years, but only if we buy into the notion that personality is set in stone. Few people escape childhood and adolescence without some level of trauma so it’s good to know that while some personality tendencies are innate, our personality can continue to develop even as adults. As you read or listen keep this question in mind “if my personality is malleable what role can I play in directing it?” as I will be offering you questions at the end of this post.
AUDIOPOST-A BETTER EULOGY WITH START, STOP, CONTINUE? 17:21 mins.
If you are a personal development aficionado you likely are familiar with the Eulogy Exercise. In this article I am going to marry that exercise with the Start, Stop, Continue exercise. I will briefly explain both of these practices and offer a few examples of how creating a union between them can be helpful. I will end this article with a range of questions and I hope you will take the time to sit down with a paper and pen and do a little reflective writing.
Is one day at a time just for addicts? Hell, no, it can be wise words for anyone experiencing stressed states. As I say in the first workbook, life can be messy and change can be hard. When we lack a belief in ourselves and are having difficulty managing life’s challenges, living in the moment with purposeful intention is a healthy choice. For many, asking the question “how can I use the next twenty-four hours to bolster me?” can be stabilizing. A simple decision to live the best we can in one 24-hour compartment can help to decrease the freaked-out state.
This simple experiment is designed to help you gain a profound understanding of how our primitive minds operates. Why should we be interested in that? Because If we lack this knowledge, we are playing the game of life at a deficit.Is this experiment a magic bullet? Hell, no, but for most people, it is an important start to understanding why change can be so difficult and to develop some insights into how we can influence the primitive mind.
We all have challenges. We each also have plenty of evidence of our ability to powerfully influence ourselves. We each have a history of choosing helpful mindsets, taking the right action, and solving problems well. Unfortunately, this evidence is often gathering dust in the back of our mental filing cabinet. This cabinet is a goldmine that must be sluiced for nuggets. What we focus on stays at the front of the mental filing cabinet. It is often fool’s gold with no value.
Before we move on to building a manifesto I am going to briefly touch on several concepts from the workbook/s. 1-We never outperform our self-image (how we see ourselves, what we think we are capable of 2- our current beliefs and stated goals are intimately tied to our self-image 3- our self-image was formed during times of vulnerability before we had the capacity to decide for ourselves 4-much of our identity was created for us before we had the ability to sift and sort incoming data or messaging.
No matter how much I love to sing, how much I rehearse, how many vocal lessons I take or how many band members come and go, it is doubtful that I will be the next Pat Benatar. Sometimes we need to have a hard look at our goals, dreams, visions or ideals and make some decisions about whether it is time to give up, revise or let go. So, go ahead and think of something you have wanted to do, be or have. Something you have held close to your heart for a long time and have expended precious time and energy on.
How are you dealing with the current health crisis? What are you noticing about how others are managing? What can we learn from each other? We are being inundated with COVID-19 information and today I would like to offer a simple suggestion to help us maintain some level of sanity during this uncertain time. As always, I will end the article with questions for your consideration. First, let’s briefly explore how the virus is impacting our lives. The current situation has left many people living more secluded lives, either mandated or by personal choice. Do you remember being told, “go to your room and think about it?”